Rich, beautiful people who are unkind or boring do nothing for me. I want a client who is a good human, who cares deeply and speaks openly. This client could easily be a woman or nonbinary, though I have used he/him pronouns here, as most of my clients are men and for the sake of simplicity. Read on if you want to know more about my perfect client. You just might be that person…
He’s the one who is nice to the clerk at the grocery store, even when she’s slow and he’s in a rush. He tips servers well. He helps strangers pick up things they’ve dropped on the sidewalk. He is kind and generous in spirit, and eager to do right by others. He is thoughtful and speaks his mind without being condescending. He knows that he has the power to make someone’s day better or worse, and picks better.
He fills out the booking and screening form to completion. He waits patiently for a response, because he knows that entrepreneurs aren’t always able to check emails multiple times a day. If asked for more info, he gives it willingly. He’s aware that sex workers are a population who by necessity must take added precautions for safety, and he respects that. He wants me to feel safe and secure with him and knows that me feeling safe is how we can assure that every moment is fantastic and genuine. He sends the deposit, trusting that I have no reason to sacrifice a wonderful lasting relationship for $100. He offers several date times (as well as a location that I have listed on my calendar, or one he intends to buy me tickets to), and is respectful about finding a time that works for us both. Knowing that I took the time to carefully craft a website that answers most questions, he’s already well versed in Fancy.
Having read my website, he carefully selects a used copy of his favorite book. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy like a first edition, but if he can afford one, he makes sure it’s my favorite book and not his. For our first date though, he knows I want to get into his mind and read something he loves. The donation, which he never questioned, is in the book. If he can, he also leaves a tip or brings a gift. For a longer date, he also brings snacks and tea or sake. He respectfully leaves the book and any other packages on the dresser, and goes to shower. He knows that I’ll count and tuck away the donation, and politely gives me this moment to do so. He’s probably already clean and well-groomed, knowing that hygiene is part of what makes an encounter enjoyable, but he takes a quick shower anyhow to wash off the city.
During our conversation, he is open and relaxed. Even if he’s nervous, it’s not a cagey nervousness that sets everyone else on edge. It’s the expected nerves of meeting a beautiful woman for the first time, not a distrust of women in general. He loves women; that’s part of why he’s here. He relaxes as we get to know each other. He’s not in a hurry, because he set aside adequate time to get to know one another before becoming intimate, and he trusts my timing within an appointment. If I’m encouraging conversation, he converses. When I encourage touch, he touches. We check in routinely to make sure that we’re within the range of good boundaries and that everyone is enjoying themselves. He knows that consent isn’t just sexy, it’s mandatory, but we can still make it pretty damn sexy if we want to. Which, of course we do. He takes the time to enjoy the sensual and intimate touch and teasing that comes before, or even in lieu of, traditional sex. Foreplay may not be something he has much experience with, but he’s open to exploring new realms of pleasure. Sex isn’t just sex; it’s also play. He’s here with me to have fun, not just a physical release. Although, that’s fun too.
Afterwards, we lie in bed and chat more. He enjoys the slow intimacy of getting dressed together in the afterglow. He leaves when the time has come, and thanks me for the time we have spent together. In the following days, he may text or email a quick thank-you or ask for a reference. He knows that I’m busy and can’t spend a great deal of time communicating between appointments, and he respects that. He either reserves contacting me for setting up dates, or he offers value for the time spent communicating between dates. The value may be gifts, services, or money. It doesn’t matter what the value is, just that it is something that I also find valuable. That’s the kind of man he is. He’s never entitled, and never disrespectful of the boundaries of our relationship. Should the boundaries be unclear, he is quick to communicate and ensure that we are on the same page. He knows that communication is key in any relationship, be it business, pleasure, or both. He’s a good man, even if he doesn’t know it yet. I’ll help him see how wonderful he truly is.
Are you my perfect client? Are you kind, generous in spirit, open minded, respectful, and communicative? I think if you’ve gotten this far, you probably are. Let’s find out.